theheadmonarch | (no subject)

...I refuse to answer this question based on my right to avoid self-incrimination.

You're lucky I find you cute and funny, Onni.

Being too cute and funny to point-blank obliterate is but one of many tools I have used to survive this long.

That and it's funnier to curse you with small petty things like the girls you know puncture your Gym Mats with stiletto high heels.

At least gym mats aren't that expensive...

...But, in all seriousness, my opinions mostly line up with Shikou. You're kind of a super-villain but mostly out of uh, byproduct than anything else.

Define "Byproduct", just so I don't worry too much.

Accidentally becoming a cult figure within the government.

Exploiting a loophole to allow for more land development that by chain reaction (and various Yakuza legal posturing over the past few decades) lets you claim a third of Tokyo as your dominion.

People naturally submitting to you because you have a flying getaway resort island you and your partner and various family members go to.

Turning the Prime Minister into your secretary without knowing who they are.

Why would anyone worship me. All I do is provide sleaze and money.

... I think the Futabas might be Yakuza and might own a third of Tokyo.

But I don't have a flying resort island.

... And why do you both think I'd do that to the Prime Minister?

You're essentially a goddess of pleasures among other domains and the rich and influential are more likely to get swept into alternative religions.

I am vaguely aware of this possibility, yes.

Yet.

It seems like the exact kind of thing that would happen and cause my life to be way more difficult than it already is.

The rich are?

What happens if the two of us take over Tokyo.

I feel awkward about doing things like that. I shouldn't, but I feel like I'd be forcing myself on the world.

... But how would it happen?

People who are so rich they've lost all ability to contemplate reality. Y'know, super-millionaire/billionaire types.

...I don't know. Probably a lot of legal complications that my head hurts just thinking about.

I mean, a flying island seems nice, but it also is, y'know, a flying island.

A sitcom style chain of errors in which you accidentally get invited to some big political gala and the prime minister snubs you, or something. That's the most likely scenario, I feel.

I'm a super billionaire! And I contemplate reality just fine!

Would it be helped if we gave you Mad Max armor and a mullet?

Yes, and it feels rude to the others writing history.

... I feel like this is an attack on my character.

A little.

How bad of "A little".

Bad enough that you are likely to gradually take over Japan at some point?

Probably mostly by accident, though.

Well Shiroko and Suzume running the government with you and me as figureheads would be kind of cute.

But how do you take over Japan by accident?

You just keep expanding land without thinking of it, maybe keep inspiring accidental cults, you turn the Prime Minister into your secretary without realizing who it is.

Things like that.

Ahahaha.

I wouldn't be that dumb to accidentally turn the prime minister into a secretary.

Right?

... Right?

This isn't a matter of you being "smart" or "dumb".

It is just... a thing that would absolutely happen with you.

I feel like this is a gross misrepresentation of my character!

It's not inaccurate though, is it.

Yes, and that's the part that hurts the most.