(no subject)

[theheadmonarch]

I'm not saying this to Isabel because like hell I'm going to belittle her with something obvious, but I think this should be noted to those not picking up on it:

Touki and anyone is potentially feeding him that people are monsters, are playing a game of chicken and brinksmanship. Some of us are stronger, faster, smarter than normal humans, but smashing him up blindly just feeds his narrative and justifies what he's saying.

If he's killed or severely harmed by a spirit, that makes him a martyr and feeds the narrative.

So everyone, let's breathe.

And have a potato salad party. Or something.

Or aggressively shop.

Comments

Private to Noriko

[naturalcure]

And....thank you.

For giving my sister what I couldn't.

Re: Private to Noriko

[thefifthmonarch]

I. Felt pity for her, all alone in the streets the night I found her.

And. I dunno. I felt she deserved better.

A hot meal.

A clean bed.

A warm shower and bath.

Re: Private to Noriko

[thefifthmonarch]

Speaking of which, my door is always open to you.

As both your friend and as the first family of my daughter.

I'm not sure we'll always see eye to eye, but.

Your always welcome at my house, literally and spiritually speaking.

Re: Private to Noriko

[naturalcure]

...I was never able to be that for her.

I turned against her, because... ...I never wanted to kill everybody. I thought I did, but I just. Didn't. And we fought, and she. Killed herself.

Then she came back as a Dreadscythe...I was so happy to see her, but I was so damaged by my run-ins with Eiza. I couldn't. I couldn't be what she needed. I spent so much time running away from what Eiza did to me, and what I did as the Witch, I never....settled down enough. To be there for her.

huhhhh, I pretty much abandoned Niyo too, after all she did for me. fuck.

Then. I ran into Z-ONE. And it broke me. And when things had finally gotten peaceful...and we could've been. Together. I had run away from that too.

....I dunno how she doesn't hate me.

Re: Private to Noriko

[thefifthmonarch]

Ran away from Akae.

Ran away from Niyo who kept wanting your love.

Ran away from your father, after reuniting with him.

I think you're scared of having a family. Of feeling loved, Isabel.

And I'm pretty sure your sister does hate you. She just also loves you dearly. It's possible to feel both emotions at the same time.

Re: Private to Noriko

[naturalcure]

That's a bit of an understatement, Noriko.

I'm...I'm finally. Stable. And happy, now. I can be with my dad and Akae and my friends, and I think I might be in love with Jeanette and it terrifies me.

Sometimes I think I should just go back to the forest before everything goes wrong and I get hurt again.

Re: Private to Noriko

[theheadmonarch]

Might I inquire why you think anything might go wrong.

Besides the fact we might at this rate, need to get you a robot body.

Well besides the fact Jean is a bad luck magnet against her own will.

Re: Private to Noriko

[naturalcure]

Because something always done. Somebody gets hurt, or I get hurt, or a disaster happens, or just.

...it won't last. It can't. Nothing ever does. It hasn't for my entire life.

Re: Private to Noriko

[thefifthmonarch]

Life is. Pretty much one fiasco after another, with barely any free time at a safe harbor. It's pretty much rough and ugly.

Most of it is about appreciating the times at the safe harbor.

Though, I assume you try to make it last? Or do you run at the first sign that it looks like things are going poorly?

Re: Private to Noriko

[naturalcure]

Before, I never stopped running. I was always running away from my fears in some way or another with dueling, fighting, throwing myself at bad guys. It was all just...using adrenaline to avoid dealing with it. And when it got to be too much, I ran away for real.

I'm trying. To just stay put, right now. But I'm still really scared.

Re: Private to Noriko

[theheadmonarch]

Medically curious here.

Do you ever have anxiety attacks?

Nervous breakdowns?

Low self-esteem?

Do you feel inadequate, inferior, and want to avoid dealing with others despite wanting to be close to them?

Loss of interest? Feels of depression?

Feelings of suicide?

Intrusive thoughts? Flash backs? Vivid dreams related to past trauma and problems?

I'm mostly asking because considering the amount of crap you've gone through, you probably have developed some sort of anxiety disorder, depression, trauma or so such.

And considering you've been abused by your suicidal nihilistic manager, obviously mind raped by the original Da Eiza, what you did as the Black Rose Witch, and the Z-One incident.

You. Probably should talk to a psychologist.

Being terrified and anxious and scared shitless after all that is normal and I'd like to make sure you don't have another breakdown. Or try to manage it.

(Though going to the Naturia Forest obviously did you a world of good.)